What is the best way to communicate with oneself?

 If you have some idea or opinion about the above question, please leave your good comment in consideration of the following answers in order to share it with other people  in the world.                                 

From: David Winter(Careers Adviser at The Careers Group, University of London)

Date: February 17, 2010

To: Michael Chang


Interesting question.

I’m not sure that there is one best way. Here are some ways that I can think of.

Cultivate stillness
Mindfulness practice (meditation) can help to still the chatter of thoughts that might distract us from hearing the important thoughts. Mindfulness is focusing your attention on the here-and-now. Letting go of past regrets and future worries to immerse yourself in the moment.

Hear others
Find yourself reflected in other people. Observe how people respond you you. Ask people to tell you about yourself. Hold their ideas as working hypotheses that you can set out to test.

Identify your multiplicity
You are likely to be a different person in each of the social situations you inhabit. Each of these people will have different views, thoughts, opinions, feelings. Record these thoughts while you are in the situation. Read them when you are in another situation.

Communicate over time
Write down your thoughts, feelings, goals and opinions now. Put them away for a period of time. Revisit them. Visualise yourself a number of years in the future. What do you have to say to yourself in the present.

From: Scott Byorum(Author at Dooley Downs)
Date: February 17, 2010
To: Michael Chang
With respect and reverence. You are a unique individual who never has been and never will be again (except in the quantum multi-verse sense).        
From: Bjorn Nilsen(Materials Manager at Global Ground Support)
Date: February 17, 2010
To: Michael Chang
With honesty….look at yourself in the mirror, can you stand the sight of that guy? Does he make you uncomfortable? Would he REALLY want to be YOUR friend?
From: Bruce Serven(Rainmaker at Painted Horse Group Inc.)
Date: February 17, 2010
To: Michael Chang
If I remember correctly, communicating with yourself goes against proper netiquette. It also piques the interest of the people in the white lab coats, so be cognizant of when and where you talk to yourself.

However, if you insist:

I heard doing it by FAX is a great way to communicate with yourself (see link).

Amazon (see link) has a book available in case you are in need of topics for your self communication.

There is also a Kindle book available entitled “How to talk to yourself” which may be of use to you.

Good luck in communicating with yourself.

From: Ives De Busser(Packaging Innovation Technologist at Mars)
Date: February 17, 2010
To: Michael Chang
I think communicating with thought is the quickest – you can do it in silence or out loud, that does not matter.
In some cases, writing things down can be of a big help – if there are all kinds of issues in your life and you need to see the light at the end of the tunnel, writing things down in for instance a mindmap can really arrange your thoughts.
Same goes for things you need to do, on a short term or on a longer term – write them down and strike them through once they are finished – you will not forget anything and you will see the evolution in your tasks…..

So to conclude, the best way to communicate depends on the message and subject of your communication.

From: Barry Zweibel(MBA, Master Certified Coach)

Date: February 17, 2010
To: Michael Chang
Kindly, gently, caringly, and lovingly. Then whatever you say, make it meaningful, relevant, insightful, and bullshit-free. If you don’t, you’ll likely stop listening to yourself in very short order.

Hope that helps.

From: Tim Tymchyshyn(proud owner of a Jerry Rice/Joe Montana autographed football)
Date: February 17, 2010
To: Michael Chang
I talk and answer myself, we all do

I do it out loud, some just think it over, I talk it out

those that say they don’t have never listened to themselves

From: Dave Mason(Owner at Phoenix Signs)
Date: February 17, 2010
To: Michael Chang
I’ve always been taught that it is OK to talk to yourself, but that you should be worried if you answer back.

Adbul – we need to talk.

From: Praveen kumar Atmakur(Key Account Manager: Sales and Marketing at ZF, Germany)
Date: February 17, 2010
To: Michael Chang
A good question! Thank you for asking it!

We are living in a communication technology era which was never better before. But we still do not know the easy and optimum way to communicate to the NEAREST person we have, i.e SELF.

The biggest hurdle in a communication is lacking the quality of listeing skills. One need to be a good listners to have a good communication. This works with the SELF too. Often we do not accept what the self speaks to us and supress the self. There by the inner self slowly gets drowned under the superficial public profiles we maintain.

The easiest way is just to LISTEN to the self with no prejudise. Leave 2 things aside for a while.
1) the impressions you gathered in this world,
2) the opinions of others.

Then try to analyse together with your rational mind and the SELF. one will start comming to terms. With this one will slowly get into a soft and non-complex frequency of communication with the self. This status is the key for PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT.


From: Charlene Norman(Whatever it Takes at Volunteer)

Date: February 17, 2010

To: Michael Chang

Funny isn’t it that most of us do not ARGUE with ourselves?

From: Rachana Agarwal(Content Writer at Icreon Communications Pvt. Ltd., India)

Date: February 17, 2010
To: Michael Chang
If you want to get a perfect solution of a situation, it would be important for you to think both the aspects (positive and negative) thoroughly.
From: Abdul Rahim Hasan(Marketing & Exports at Awal Dairy Company WLL, Bahrain)
Date: February 17, 2010
To: Michael Chang
Intrapersonal communication is communication with one’s self. It’s unique because you become both the sender and the receiver

Well, there are various ways for you to communicate with yourself. For instance, day-dreaming, speaking aloud, reading aloud, repeating what you hear, internal monologues (conscious and sub-conscious), writing down your thoughts, making gestures while thinking and communication between your body parts, for example “my tummy is telling me, its time for lunch”.

One very interesting self-communication method I want to share with you is “Lucid Dreaming”. Here you’re aware that you’re dreaming. You actively participate in and often manipulate the experiences in your dream. Lucid dreaming can be exciting depending on your level of self-awareness.

From: Richard Derwent Cooke(MD, Change Facilitator at I-Change)

Date: February 16, 2010
To: Michael Chang
To tell yourself the truth… tough to really do but hugely rewarding
From: Judith Angell(Research Program Specialist at State of California)
Date: February 17, 2010
To: Michael Chang
For communicating reminders to oneself, I find clear and succinct notes put where I will find them consistently works well (e.g., I hate finding a phone number without the name).
From: Maureen Kelsey(Senior Global Strategy Consultant and Program Manager at Global Business & Technology Solutions)
Date: February 17, 2010
To: Michael Chang
Man’s task is to become conscious of the contents that press upward from the unconscious. CG Jung

Through dreamwork, use of active immagination and meditation.

From: John Zipp(Director of Education at Foundation for Stress Relief and Education)
Date: February 15, 2010
To: Michael Chang
Hi Michael,

There is a great movie called “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”. In it the main character, played by Brad Pitt, is born really old. As he gets older, he gets younger. So his life is really lived backwards. If you haven’t watched already, I highly recommend renting it. What I loved about the movie is that it shows how lucky we are to still be young and healthy( even if you are older, you still are young). If we realize NOW that we will get old, sick and die someday, then we have the chance to wake up and take advantage of what we can still do. We will live our dreams and not wait for tomorrow, because when tomorrow is here, we might not be.

In the movie he also talks about it being never to late to change what you are doing. The truth is Michael that is never to late. If you don’t like what you are doing, do something different. Now we might not be able to switch professions or friends or lifestyles immediately, but we can start to take the steps towards that today. One of the main problems people face in life is waiting. I hear people say all the time, “I will get around to doing that later,” or “in couple of years, yes, that’s when I will take my first vacation”. We seem to be a society of waiting, waiting around and you know how they spend most of their lives, waiting.

One way I control my emotions is through mediation and breathing. I do a mediation that focuses on just the breath. All you do is breathe in and then out through your nose. Each time you do that you count. You count each breath you do, say to 21, and then stop, and do it again. Doing this helps calm the mind. Our mind is like a raging sea during a storm. We need to calm it down. When our mind is always agitated, the little things( like someone pushing in front of you in line) will set you off. To control your emotions you first need a calm and centered mind. What this does is give you a little distance between you and what is happening to you at the time. Then you can choose the way you want to respond, instead of reacting just like an animal.

Just recently I was putting away some dishes and cut my hand on the corner of a cabinet. For a few seconds I felt myself get really angry, then just as quickly as it came, it left. A few years ago I would have stayed upset for minutes, maybe even hours. Because my mind was so calm to begin with, the wave of anger had no where to go, it had no friends to “surf” with. So it went away.

Really understanding the impermanence of everything really helps in dealing with the uncertainties of life. Looking back at your own life is a great way to gain perspective. Look at the times in your life that you thought were the worst. You made it through them didn’t you, I mean you are still here right? Since we know the best of times don’t last forever, and neither do the worst, the best thing is not to get too attached to either. Enjoy the good times, but don’t obsess about them, same with the bad. Learn the lessons that need to be learned from the bad times, but then let it go. Realize that they won’t last either.

I hope that helps some more Michael. Feel free to write back if you need anymore clarification or have any other questions.

Sending the best,

Dr. John Zipp

From: Kris Hill(Postdoc at Dartmouth College)

Date: February 18, 2010
To: Michael Chang

 keep a diary of my dreams. I find it an amusing exercise. There are a number of reoccurring themes, and occasionally they do give me a new insight into my waking life.

I have dreamed of solutions to certain problems, but only remembered them while writing out the typical bizarre elements of a connected dream.

I think fast and chaotic. I find that writing or speaking my thoughts out loud is a great way to organize, direct, and refine my ideas.

From: Danielle Sikorski, MHRM(Member of this professional organization at Toastmasters International)

Date: February 19, 2010
To: Michael Chang

By communicating with yourself, do you mean the thoughts you have to yourself or about other people or things?

Communicating with other people could be an obstacle to communicating with yourself…instead of taking time to think meditate or reflect on our own lives, you could constantly be ‘out there’ communicating with others.
Not that communicating with others is a bad thing, its just good to have a balance between time with other people and time with yourself. Time with youself could include meditation, relaxing, or if you are spiritual, even prayer. Having a good relationship with youself is important…it determines your outlook on life (attitude) and this attitude affects all areas of life, including professional and career life.

From: Merydith W(Developing next generation leaders: New York & Adelaide at IB Coaching)

Date: February 20, 2010
To: Michael Chang

Learn about the brain – neuroscience and start to use and understand cognitive behavior therapy. It is a powerful tool. In our third book, Back from Hell we have one chapter dedicated to it called CBT or CBT1.

Sex in the Boardroom (leadership development)
If it’s to be: It’s up to me
Back from Hell

Merydith had an article published in The Washington Post giving leaders tips on how to manage in the financial crisis


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